33+2 - Day 9

33+2 and we're on day 9 of NICU life. A few things to celebrate:

• Brain scans came back normal.
• Carter got moved up to the step down nursery today. He is still on the RAM cannula (2L of oxygen an hour – lowest setting before advancing to the nasal cannula), but at his max feeds for his weight and doing well. Hope he can come home in 2-3 weeks! He is still 3.34 lb – just a tad higher than his birth weight 10 days ago.  Pretty soon, he will be sleeping on a plain mattress instead of the temperature-controlled egg-shaped "bed" that sits on top of the mattress now and imitates the womb. And when that happens, he will be able to wear preemie clothes! 
• Logan is continuing to tolerate his feedings and is being weened off his IV. He's also on 2L of oxygen. After he gets to his max feedings, they may move him upstairs to be in the same room at Carter... He's also getting lipids to help fatten him up a bit, but he's still 2.55 lb – also just a little over his birth weight.
• Didn't cry leaving the hospital for the first time today.
• Learned to accept help and allowed mom to drop off meals at our home for a week now. Starting next week, need to try to manage on our own before Carter or both of them can come home.
• I am off my pain medication and the pain level is more tolerable. I still have many discomforts but just as before - nothing comes close to the emotional turmoil, guilt, feeling like this is all my fault, etc... I give myself until Friday to feel better or I should probably bring this up at my doctors appointment. 

I am still stressing about going back to work after such a short bonding time with the babies after they come home. My hope was that we wouldn't have NICU time and I would spend the 12 weeks of my leave with them at home. Never did I think that driving to the NICU would be a way of life in the beginning. I pump like its my job – every 2-3 hours and try to think positively about things not being worse than they are. Not every NICU parent is as fortunate as us... We've seen some pretty grim circumstances there before and have to remind ourselves to keep a leveled head about everything.

M and I made it a goal to do skin to skin time with each of the boys for at least an hour each day. Its so good for them and helps them feel comforted, regulates their body temperature, pulse, etc... M will be going back to work on Monday and I will need to start driving myself. Tomorrow will be my practice run after nearly 3 weeks of no driving (hospital bed rest + recovery). 

NICU Life - Week 1

It’s been 6 days since our boys arrived. As you probably figured, they are spending their time at the hospital NICU and will be there for 3-5 more weeks due to their prematurity. When you look at the specific challenges that come with prematurity, there are pretty much 4 categories: feeding, respiratory, neurological, and cardio. 

·  Feeding - at birth, they were both fed thru an IV (sugar, protein, fats) and began trophic feeds of breast milk through a tube that goes into their tummy to stimulate digestion. Since then, Carter has advanced to eating my milk alone and is continuing to increase his feeds. Logan is still relying on both, but he's getting weaned off the the IV. We are beginning to try eating at the breast, but their jaw muscles are just going to need some time to get stronger. Learning to suck, swallow, and breathe at the same time is a major milestone.

·  Respiratory - they are breathing on their own, but all their respiratory support is designed to help their lungs stay open and make breathing less of an effort so they can use more energy on gaining weight. Still, we have made baby steps in the right direction, advancing from a large scary-looking device called CPAP to a nasal cannula which looks like 2 little tubes going into their noses. Occasionally, preemies forget to breathe (this is called apnea) because they wouldn't have to do that if they were still in utero, so to help them remember, they get small doses of caffeine. 

·  Neurological - the effects of prematurity on the brain will not be fully known for a long time. Things like cerebral palsy and autism get diagnosed later in life when preemies are not hitting their "adjusted age" milestones (they are 8 weeks premature, so their adjusted age is -8 weeks and will be 0 when they are 8 weeks old). However, we do have an ultrasound of the brain scheduled for Sept 13^th at 34+1 which will tell us if there is any bleeding in the brain.

·  Cardio - the main issue with heart prematurity is occasional decelerations in the pulse (this is bradycardia). Sometimes, they are caused by apnea (forgetting to breathe), sometime the baby just gets too comfortable in their sleep and needs to be patted or rubbed to get their heart rate up.  This is a typical preemie issue and is a prime example of why there are 2 babies to each nurse at the NICU - they really do need extremely close monitoring before they grow out of these issues.

Before they can come home, they don't need to be a certain weight, but they do need to 1) maintain their body temperature on their own, 2) suck/swallow/breathe without help for 8 feedings a day, and 3) breathe room air. As of now, all the issues I explained above are typical and expected - nothing is permanent as far as we know today. But it’s a lot to take in for new parents and comes with a heavy emotional toll.  We have been so lucky to have a ton of support around us - from you guys, our families, from my moms of multiples club, and from the hospital preemie group. We also have an amazing team of nurses who take care of our boys. They are all extremely diligent and treat each child as if they were their own. All the nurses have commented that Logan and Carter are equally feisty and will be a lot of fun down the road.

I am sure within a week, the lifestyle of daily trips to the NICU will be second nature for us. For now, we just have to celebrate the baby steps we have made & put one foot in front of the other every morning. We are optimistic that our little guys are fighters and will soon be coming home with us. Each day is a milestone when it’s your child... 

We now get why people told us that life of a NICU parent is a rollercoaster – you have good days and you have not so good days with setbacks.  Two steps forward, one step back. One would think that in a way a parent of a NICU baby would get to “rest” more, but while we don’t know any different, I can tell you that this is the most testing time of our lives.

I made it my priority to establish my milk supply as soon as possible and thankfully that hasn't been an issue. I continue to impress all the lactation consultants that come to visit, but it comes at a cost of pumping every 2 hours around the clock.  M has been my main caretaker this entire time and frequently got up at night with me to help. Even now at 5 days postpartum, he still has more on his plate than ever. It’s almost like we’re dealing with all the same challenges of parenting as other people, but our family is still not 100% complete. It will be that way until the boys get to come home one day when they are ready. With NICU babies, there is also the separation anxiety of coming, going, calling nurses for updates, etc. I am tired of hearing everyone from nurses to doctors to case managers telling me that my risks of postpartum depression are greater than other people. It’s not something I can control and we will need to be strong for them together. 


Logan has dirty blonde hair and Carter has dark brown hair. Both of them have deep blue eyes.

Birth Story

It has been 5 days since my last post and 5 days since my boys were born via C-Section.   Ironically, after I was reassured that baby B still didn't have reverse end diastolic flow during the morning Doppler, he started having decelerations (in his pulse) on the monitors and instead of my 2 one-hour monitoring sessions, I was on the monitor pretty much 24/7. At some point in early afternoon, my doctor came in and said we are in that gray area of delivering or waiting and asked what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted to wait – a part of me begged that we would make it at least another week, that these boys would grow just a little bit more, that risks of scary preemie issues would be reduced, etc.  My doctor pursed his lips and told me he was thinking about delivering me but respected my maternal instinct to wait. I continued on 24/7 monitoring into late evening hours. M was by my bedside and wasn't going to leave me at night. I was emotionally unstable, cried almost nonstop, and was terrified of all the unknowns. The plan was to repeat my Doppler in the morning if baby B was not going to have any more of these decelerations that lasted over a minute and deprived him of oxygen.

But he did… and by then, we came to terms with the fact that for him, being on the outside was better than on the inside. I blamed myself for his failing cord and for being in that predicament, but I somehow found the strength take a 5 minute shower and psych myself into delivering that night, remembering all the things that needed to happen. I don’t know how I would have done it without watching M be strong by my side – he has a way of calming me down without really even doing anything. He just has to be calm and rational & somehow it can make me feel a lot better although every cell in my body is in a state of complete chaos.

I was wheeled to the OR with M in toe. While the epidural was being administered to my back, I got extremely nauseous from fear and threw up. It wasn’t my favorite part of the whole thing. There was no time for me to fast before surgery like you’re supposed to. Modesty over my body had to go out the window: I was manipulated like a piece of steak on a butcher’s block – one nurse was putting in a catheter, another nurse was doing another non-stress test on the babies and monitoring any contractions, the IV nurse was giving me a loading dose of magnesium, which thankfully I remembered to remind them about. I didn’t need it for me, but studies show that magnesium administered right before labor offered neurological protection to the babies. My doctor agreed and said “Thanks for the reminder!”.  Someone else was putting a hair net on me and anesthesiology was asking me my name, DOB, and other questions to check if I was responding well to the anesthetic. Things were happening fast!!  Just 30 minutes ago, my doctor was on speakerphone in my room with us while he himself was back at home.  Pretty soon, time warped and I was gripping to M’s hand as I felt pressure and pulling sensations reaching all the way up to my ribs. A blood splatter landed on the top part of the curtain that ran across my abdomen to keep M and I from seeing everything. Something behind the curtain was beeping and I had to throw up again. I was so embarrassed, but thankfully I had already emptied my stomach back in the other room when my epidural was administered. This was just adrenaline trying to find a way out of my body.  

Soon, we heard they were ready to deliver baby A and seconds later we heard a high pitched cry that Carter made as he was instantly whisked away to a corner of the large room we were in by a team of nurses, a neonatologist, a respiratory specialist, and slew of other personnel dressed in blue sterile jumpsuits. In another corner, the second team was waiting. One of them was waiting for baby B to bring him back to that corner. A minute later, another equally as high-pitched but healthy cry came from Logan. M and I held our breaths as we looked at each other. I told him not to sit with me but to go to them and to remember to take pictures. I knew I may not see these boys until 12 hours or more from now and pictures would be all I have to live with. M went to Logan first as we had more concerns about his well-being – after all it was because of him that we delivered that night. Apparently, M impressed everyone in the OR as he was recognizing the short abbreviations of necessary equipment that was being attached to the twins. I had buzzed in his ears for weeks about what everything was called and what it looked like, as I was starting to accept the reality of NICU parenting even then. Apgar scores were being called out. Logan’s were 8 at 1 minute and 9 at 5 minutes, which was impressive to us all things considered. Carter’s were 5 and 9. M popped back over to me briefly and told me everything looks ok so far. Both boys were put on CPAP and whisked away to the NICU. Soon enough, I was being wheeled to recovery. M never got to say bye to me and I hoped he knew I was gone and that I was ok. He had seen me in enough pain that day that I could tell watching me go through it was hurting him just the same, though he tried not to show it.

Armed with peace of mind, I was being checked by nurses in recovery every so often, but spent most of my time counting minutes until I would be wheeled back to my hospital room where I would be reunited with M and our parents who were already on the way. I knew I had to lay there  for 2 hours and those hours proved to be the toughest yet, because next to me was an empty isolate and a curtain away was a mother with a 9lb crying infant and she was talking to him and comforting him. It stung so bad to hear someone else have a joyful, happy birth experience while mine was full of fear, tears, and stress like I never felt in my entire life. I didn’t exactly picture it that way! The nurses attending to me were cold and to the point, not compassionate like the nurses back at HRP (High Risk Perinatal) where I spent most of my hospital bed rest. The numbness of my body was a stark contrast from the emotional hurt and fear I was feeling.

M popped his head in through the curtain. He was no longer wearing his sterile blue jumpsuit and hair cover. I was SOO relieved to see him! As soon as he saw me crying, he understood why. The people behind the curtain were loud with their baby and not only that, but they were Alabama Roll Tide fans and he was annoyed with them almost immediately. In his hands was a folder with pictures of our boys that the hospital provided, a set of footprints, and stats. M also took photos with his phone and made a few videos to last me until the next day, when I could get up and see them myself.

11:41pm. Carter Lee (baby A) 3lb 6oz, 16.5 inches

11:42pm. Logan James (baby B) 2lb 7oz, 15.5 inches

Shortly after, I was moved to my room and parents came in to congratulate us. We finally revealed the names to them all together and showed them the few photos we had. Everyone in the room was emotional. I looked like complete crap by then after a long day of crying. A colony of pimples appeared across my chin. But I didn’t care about any of that. I was having an out of body experience. It finally started to feel like a happy experience and I drank in every photo and footprint. After parents left, it was about 4am and my nurse had to go through admission papers with me. About an hour of that and I still hadn't tried to pump and though I wanted to sleep so badly, I asked her to bring me a breast pump and I needed to start working. It was the only thing I could do to help my boys grow now that they were under the NICU care. M went there to check on them and brought back more snapshots. It was hard to see much baby under all the monitors and tubes and blankets/hats that they seemed to be swimming in. I just couldn't get over the fact that they were THAT small. I guess that growth scan was more or less accurate. Not much fat on them to throw those estimates off. Skin, bones, and a little bit of hair – Logan’s blonde and Carter’s dark brown… but it was all ours and no matter how they looked, we were ready to do anything in the world for them and knew that from this point forward, they were going to be the most important people in our lives.

32 weeks!

Our bodies and minds are resilient and incredible at adapting to any hardships or curveballs life throws at us. Just on Monday I was so broken about the growth scan, it seemed to me like I would spend the next 2 weeks in a state of teary-eyed sleepy depression, but I recovered and am back to being positive and hopeful. I continue trying to prepare for other challenges still ahead, for example getting to leave the hospital without my boys… They give me 30 min of “wheelchair privileges” a day here, so when M or my parents come by to see me, they take me outside for 30 minutes to sit by the main fountain in front of L&D drop off/pick up zone and we watch other families take their babies home. It’s tough knowing that when we go home, the two baby carseats will remain unoccupied, but as long as I set that expectation with myself now it will be easier when that time comes.

I am 32 weeks today! This was my first goal when I first checked into the hospital. I am that much closer to 34 now! Hard to believe that M and I will get to meet our precious little cargo in 14 days…

Absent End Diastolic Flow, Disappointing Growth Scan, and The Wait

When we decided to start a family, we couldn't have imagined the bumps in the road and sharp turns that this journey would take us through. As I type this, I am 31 weeks and 5 days (31+5) pregnant with twin boys (I was completely wrong in my predictions about genders!) and on strict hospital bed rest since 30+5.

30 Weeks, 5 Days

At one of what became my “routine” Doppler ultrasounds, at 30+5, the Low End Diastolic Flow turned to Absent End Diastolic Flow (AEDF). That means that when my heart was at rest in between beats, our Baby B wasn’t getting any reserve blood with oxygen and nutrients at all and that would further slow down his growth. I was devastated… The concern in the doctor’s eyes told me this wasn’t something to be taken lightly. I was handed a yellow envelope with my results and told to report to Labor and Delivery at the hospital asap. I called M in tears and asked him to drive me as it didn’t sound like my car would have a driver to return it back home from the hospital. At least not for a while. And that is how my hospital bed rest started….

Growth Scan: 31+4

Today is day 8 on strict hospital bed rest. Following the first week, just after I had adjusted to my new home and stopped working (the clock on my 12 week maternity leave at work has started to tick), things had to get more challenging.  Yesterday was probably the single most difficult day this entire pregnancy that I’ve had to endure. It’s been 3 weeks since our 28 week growth scan and it was time to see how much our little twinkies had grown. I was sooo optimistic going into it. I had been eating like a beast, drinking protein shakes any minute that I wasn’t shoving food in my mouth (I even drank a shake at night when I got up to use the restroom), and I had been on bed rest. Of course, I was wishing for our boys to be at least over 3lb each – not setting completely unreal expectations.

After the growth scan, I learned that Baby A caught up from 15% last time to 20% and weighed 3lb 4oz, but Baby B dropped further in his growth – from 15% to 10% and weighed 2lb 10oz. There was a ~18% discordance between their weights because this cord flow issue slowed down B’s growth so much. Their stomachs also continued to measure a couple weeks behind and remained on the 4% curve. I kept it together during the growth scan and kept it together as I made my calls my M, my mom, and Lee. But when I took a shower, I sobbed so hard that I saw stars all around me. The brief moment of privacy that I had in the hospital was my daily shower and I used every minute of it to let as much of my hurt out and cry it out of me. I was exhausted, scared, terrified, stressed, disappointed… I felt like I failed.

At this pace, we need to accept that Baby B will be diagnosed with IUGR (intra-uterine growth restriction) at birth and will spend the first 2 years of his life catching up. That means hitting milestones later and hopefully not having too much trouble growing and gaining weight!

As part of coping with the idea of having preemies, I started reading a lot and researching information about NICU equipment, following message boards for parents of NICU babies, and being vocal about our news with online support groups. I know that when I look back on this time after the boys arrive, it will seem like it was the easy part…  We just need to have hope and take it one day at a time.

I am being monitored very closely here. Each morning I get a Doppler ultrasound to check the AEDF and make sure it has not advanced to Reverse End Diastolic Flow (REDF), which is when the blood that is pumped to the placenta and the baby via his cord during my heartbeat is going back to the placenta without ever reaching the baby during times between beats. If unaddressed, it can lead to stillbirth. So, if they were to see REDF on my morning Doppler I would have a C-section in a matter of hours. As you can imagine, I spend my mornings laying wide awake in my hospital bed waiting and when I see the Doppler graph on the ultrasound, I say a little prayer the best way I can (M and I aren’t religious) to ask for another day… It’s the hardest, most tormenting wait of my life. And the outcome of the wait only gives peace of mind for the next 24 hours.

28 Weeks

The first bumps in the road shook what seemed like our perfect world at a routine 28 week growth scan. Both boys were measuring smaller on the growth curve than in prior scans – dropping off from 35% (18 weeks) to 25% (25 weeks) and at 28 weeks, down to 15%. More alarming was that their abdominal circumference, one of the three measurements used in estimating weight (head circumference and femur bone length being the other two), was only in the 4^th %. That means that only 4% of all fetuses of the same gestational age have smaller abdominal measurements than my boys!  In addition, baby B’s heart Doppler came back abnormal – this is a special type of ultrasound that shows the volume and direction of blood traveling through the umbilical cord and is an important influencing factor on how much oxygen/nutrients (carried by blood) the baby is getting. Therefore, it could partially explain why baby B was a bit smaller than A (2lb 1oz vs 2lb 4 oz). He had what’s called Low End Diastolic Flow (LEDF). A little lesson on how the placenta works in relation to the mother’s heart:  when my heart is beating, blood is pumped to the twins’ placentas (systolic flow) and when my heart is at rest in between beats, the reserve blood that was left in the vessels continues to flow to the placentas/cords just at a slower rate (diastolic flow). Picture turning the water faucet on and off real fast – even when it’s in the off position, some leftover water will still be coming out – that’s diastolic cord flow. What LEDF meant for our baby B was that he just wasn’t getting as much excess flow in between beats as he should have been. It was an early warning (yellow flag) that something was not working as it should in the placenta.  Thankfully, my boys are di/di twins meaning they are in separate sacks and have separate placentas, so each could be treated almost as a separate pregnancy.

The doctors were trying to keep us calm about the overwhelming amount of scary and new information hitting us like ricochet bullets. I was immediately strapped on to the non-stress test machine (“on the monitor”) to see if the babies were in distress and if their heartbeat patterns were indicative of any other issues. Of course, the stress and crying brought on a wave of Brackston Hicks contractions and I felt like I was barely holding on to my sanity and could lose grip at any moment. A panel of blood tests were run to rule out preeclampsia, a high blood pressure condition during pregnancy. Everything came back normal… The doctors explained that this is a relatively new issue that they were able to identify in the last 5-10 years in multiples pregnancies, which meant they didn’t know a whole lot about root causes or how to treat it. I was sent home on strict home bedrest, with orders to start counting calories to make sure I hit 2,500 kcal a day with 150 grams of protein minimum.  I was also to return to the office twice a week for ongoing Doppler studies on baby B’s cord flow.

And just like that, 2 weeks of dreaded home bed rest went by while B’s diastolic cord flow remained low. M took care of me, the pets, cooked, did laundry, etc.  I thought back then how hard it was to be confined to a bed all day for someone who used to be so active and ran a household in perfect routine order. I had to let go of my control freak antics and get over how M folded laundry and how he loaded the dishwasher. Those little things seem so trivial now, but back then they were a total thorn in my side! I was still working from home on my laptop, so it was a welcomed distraction from googling LEDF risks.

At 29 weeks, M and I had our “practice run” to the Labor & Delivery unit due to frequent contractions that just wouldn’t slow down. We had a FFN (fetal fibronectin) test done which tells the doctors if the protein that holds the sacks attached to the uterine walls is breaking down and leaking out. This test is an indicator of whether the body is preparing to go into labor in the next 2 weeks and is 99% accurate. For me, it was negative which was good. I got a shot of terbutaline, a soft tissue relaxer, to knock out contractions + 2 bags of fluids via IV and we were back home within 4 hours.  Since that trip, frequent contractions have been the norm even with home bed rest – I just knew my small torso was struggling to accommodate 2 growing boys and every little kick from one of them sometimes was enough to trigger a wave of uncomfortable uterine contractions. 

Recap of Weeks 18-28

In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t stopped blogging when I was 18 weeks along. Weeks 18-28 practically flew by uneventfully. I finally started to gain weight, we went to Destin, FL for another short vacation with family. It took us for-ever, but M and I finally agreed on 2 boy names that we could both tolerate. Neither one of us got our first pick, but now that they have been decided for a while, I just can’t think of the twins as anything other than the names we picked. They just fit!

About 3 weeks of pregnancy were spent on painting and decorating the nursery. The Winnie the Pooh design I had carefully crafted early on was scrapped and we went with an animal safari theme. I did all the painting which was painfully tedious and took what felt like years to complete, but I am so glad I did it… M installed the crown molding in the nursery and it looks beautiful – his first attempt at it too! Our mothers threw a fantastic shower and our friends have made my heart melt with thoughtful, generous, and truly touching gifts. We unveiled the nursery to everyone along with the first letter of each boy’s name (their names are painted above the cribs) – L and C.  Nobody was allowed to guess! ;-)

  

As my belly grew, I found myself on the receiving end of Jessica’s and Preeti’s maternity wardrobes – both of which fit and saved us a lot of money. My neighbor and good friend Shaney has showered me with lots of stuff her boys grew out of and again, I felt humbled taking or borrowing something from people without offering much in return. This pregnancy taught me to have a bigger heart and taught me that life changing events really do forge stronger bonds between people. When M and I got married, true friends were clear to us. Now being pregnant, it’s even more obvious that the circle of people we’re surrounded by is truly special and nothing to be taken for granted.

16 1/2 Weeks & 2 Days Away from Anatomy Scan

The last time I wrote was before we went to beautiful Aruba for our 3 year wedding anniversary and our “babymoon”… It was a fantastic trip! M got to take a few maternity pictures of me with the sunset on the beach in the background. We went snorkeling and drank fruity beach drinks (virgin drinks for me of course) but it was pretty cool to get away. I won’t lie – some mornings were pretty rough for me and I got sick a lot. Heartburn and headaches are still my vices, which will probably be here to stay for the rest of this pregnancy!  On a positive note, it was nice to finally look pregnant and I had a few complete strangers ask me when I was due, which was cool. It meant that they knew for sure that it was a baby bump and not a pot belly. J

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and my parents and in-laws came over for Sunday lunch. We all exchanged flowers and gifts and Lee, mom, and I talked about the baby shower. The “grandmothers-to-be” are planning a big shower for me and inviting all family & friends. It will be in late July, when I am 27 weeks. I need to finish the nursery by then, so we can do a nursery reveal to share your room with everyone. Of course, I am counting HOURS until Tuesday (tomorrow!) at 1:30pm when we go in for our anatomy scan and hopefully get to find out your genders. So, you better cooperate! ;-)   As I have said before, our main wish is just to have 2 healthy little beans. We welcome any gender combination…

I have been feeling ok lately – no major complaints except the normal pregnancy symptoms. Sometimes my back hurts, sometimes by head, sometimes I have all symptoms at once and feel miserable, but other times I have none at all and think for a second that I am normal. But I have not felt any kicks yet. I felt some flutters here and there, but nothing that I could with 100% certainty say was a kick. The doctor told me that’s normal and I should start feeling movement around 18-20 weeks. I can’t wait… So much to look forward to!  So far I only gained some 4-5 pounds – from 112 pre-pregnancy to 116 on a normal day. I am not sure where the weight is to account for this belly bump, but I would imagine its all baby weight. Again, the doctor tells me to wait and that this is normal, but I always have to remind myself to eat. I just have no appetite and food is still not as enjoyable as it was pre-pregnancy. 

My favorite pictures from Aruba:

13 Weeks!

Another milestone down!  With our first trimester screening results looking healthy and another ultrasound down, we are looking forward to our vacation (“babymoon” – like honeymoon, but a trip you take before the babies arrive) and some relaxation!

At this point, we have also told the news to all of our friends, family, and even posted on facebook! Everyone is of course overjoyed for us. People who already have twins welcome us to the “twins club”… 

This society just seems fascinated with twins, like it’s some supernatural phenomena.  :-)    

3D picture of you both snuggled up together

12 Weeks!

Sorry I haven’t written for 3 weeks! I have been tired, sleepy, more nauseous than ever before, and just uncomfortable in general. I had a week-long business trip to Chicago at 10 weeks and spilled my beans (literally) to my co-workers and my boss. Everyone was so nice and offered to do things for me, like moving my chair across the room. One of my co-workers, Michael, even got you guys a baby book of tongue twisters about the Fox in The Sox. It was so sweet! During that trip, I also shoveled food onto my plate every chance I got and ate it all. I also supplemented with protein shakes all day since it’s easier to drink your calories than to eat them when you’re trying to gain weight. 

But here we are at almost 12 weeks and I have a visible bump now, but still weigh 113 pounds! I just don’t get it – every day I eat SOOO much more than I used to eat pre-pregnancy and I don’t  burn my calories during intense exercise anymore. It’s pretty much down to walks in the park with Chaser at this point. I guess gaining weight is much harder than I thought!  According to my twin book, I should have gained close to 15 pounds by now, but I just don’t see how that would be possible. I can only hope my appetite revs up as I get into 2^nd trimester and I can actually gain some fat. So far, everything I am eating seems to go straight to my 2 little beans.

Technically, each of you is the size of a lime this week. But you’ll always be my little beans. J  We can’t wait for our first trimester screening and the next ultrasounds – both in 2 days!  They might even be able to guess your genders then!